My Political Quizzes' Results

http://www.politicalcompass.org/printablegraph?ec=-6.00&soc=-6.26

Death Be Not Proud Redux

Three years ago today, my grandmother passed away. Though I am sad that I'll never see her again, what saddens me most is that her death robbed the world of a special lady.

Most of us make the world better with good deeds, while consciously not causing distress to others. A few exceptional people improve their environs just by being themselves. My grandmother was of the latter; quick with a joke and a smile, my grandmother did not judge others, and she always offered to help whenever there was an activity (whether cooking, cleaning, gardening, or playing games); otherwise, she quietly sat and read. I'm glad that my wife got to know her before she died, and I should consider myself lucky if I was half as well liked as my grandmother.

Today, Ray Bradbury passed away, and he seemed to be the same kind of genuine, likeable person. (You can read Meredith Woerner's great eulogy of Ray Bradbury on io9.) I wonder how he was able to remain so innocent and wonderful despite all the tragedy he must have witnessed in his life. It really stinks when people you like have to die.

Thanks for spending some time with me. Love and peace.

My Own Worst Enemy

Earlier, I published the following post on my other blog This Graduated Path, but afterward I realized that the post would be more appropriate for this blog. I apologize, in advance, for the repetitive circular nature of this, but I just don't have the energy to be as OCD as I would like.

Do you find yourself consistently making the same mistakes? Generally, you learn from your mistakes—and you aren't insane—but day after day, you get the same erroneous results because of some small careless misjudgments. It's as though you're Theseus trying to find your way out of the labyrinth, and that pesky minotaur keeps cutting the rope you've been using to mark your path. This way's a dead end, so I'll go that way… no, that won't work… ah, I haven't tried this other path before… wait, yes, I have definitely tried that as well. It's a nightmare, seemingly without end.

For example, my wife and I own a fantastic black & white Brother laser printer. It prints quickly and cleanly, and the toner lasts ten times longer than your average ink jet drums. The printer has been a real boon, saving us a lot of money. Again, it's a great printer—when it works. Lately, our printer hasn't worked. It probably hasn't operated in a year, and we would love to get it operational again. Unfortunately, I have had no luck contacting customer service and support, to get the company's help figuring out how to fix our printer.

At first, I just procrastinated and kept putting off the call for the next day—and the next day and the next. After a few months of that, I started getting serious with myself, but when I finally got around to making the call, it would be after-hours or on the weekend. Obviously, I could no longer get a hold of anyone at that point, because regular folks don't take calls at the office when they aren't getting paid for it. Months more had gone by when I decided, Eff this, I'll wait for them to call me. (You see, at that point, I had briefly become insane, but I got over it.) Finally, I decided that pigs might grow wings before I heard from the support technicians, so I decided to call again. Now months and months have gone by since this had originally become a problem, so I don't know where to find any of the paperwork I need.

Week #50, me: "Wife, where is the paperwork for the Brother?" Wife: "Did you look here?" She finds the paperwork right away. This morning, my phone is dead. I plug it in until my phone has fully charged. This afternoon, I pull out the paperwork my wife has set aside for me. I flip to the table of contents, "Troubleshooting - User's Guide Chapter 6." There is no chapter 6! I turn to the front cover and discover I've been thumbing through the Quick Setup Guide for the Brother Laser Printer. So, I give up… and then at 5:15pm, I realized I could have just looked up the company's information on the internet!

If any of you think that you have my comedy of errors beat, I'd really like to read about it. Please feel free to leave a comment or four, and we can commiserate. Anyhow, thanks for spending some time with me.

My Personality, Unfolded

Those who know me might remember that personality psychology fascinates me, even though few research psychologists study personality. As a causality, personality should have some merit (especially if determinism is true and free will doesn't exist), yet there are few reliable scientific tests for studying psychology. I know of several tests that one can take that suggest one's personality, but the results from those can change by the minute, depending on weather, mood, and many other situational factors. (I will note here that I do not have a degree in psychology, so what observations and thoughts on the subject should have no bearing on any academic discussions of this field—but I would enjoy the input of any legitimate psychologists out there!)

Many people know about the Myers-Brigg test, based on Karl Jung's personality theories. Jung considered four factors and 16 personality types when determining personality, but Robert Bosman considers five factors, resulting in 32 personality types. Sometimes simpler is better, but complexity often results in greater accuracy. I tend to prefer complexity, except when  My close peers' personalities interest me most, but please share your speculations regarding the personalities of historical figures and of modern leaders. 

The following are a list of the online personality tests that I have found fruitful:

•  According to Myers-Briggs, I am an Introverted-Intuitive-Thinking-Perceiving personality type. I found this website for a free Myers-Briggs test, which directed me to Joe Butt's comprehensive web essay on the INTP personality profile.
• According to Robert Bosman, I am an Intuitive Scientist. Unfortunately, I could not find a free test that explicates all five factors, but Bosman does provide this free test of the three basic factors.  According to Bosman's website, I belong to a rare group since only 2% of the population has the same personality as I do. The prospect of a full profile intrigues me, but I am not tempted to fork over the cash.

You want to know, understand, explain and if necessary, re-create everything. This is why you consider the world around you an ingenious universal and enlightening model, in which everything has its natural place. With your intuitive intelligence and your objective, critical and analytical capacities, you are an expert in introducing subtle distinctions and exposing contradictions in word and deed and in concept and realization. You determine your priorities yourself and do not worry about the establishment.

 —according to my own Basic Personality Report,

from Bosman's Personality Matters website

• Finally, I found Kingdomality, a unique approach to personality assessment by Richard Silvano. Although it only considers three factors, it yields 12 possible personality traits, which are all based on romanticized character portraits of medieval European life. Using the Kingdomality system, one might describe oneself as a Builder, a Doctor, a Knight, etc. According to my Kingdomality profile, I am a Benevolent Ruler.

Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

—from Kingdomality's description of a Benevolent Ruler

If one combined the results of both tests (considering all of Bosman's and Silvano's factors), one should have a thoroughly accurate personality profile. Assuming there is some overlap between the two systems, any of 48 personality types could describe an individual's personality. Wow!

Whether this morning's introspective exercise has been a gigantic waste of my time, I will probably never know; however, I enjoyed the ride. Also, I think it helps to know oneself as well as possible, in order to best capitalize on one's strengths that one might further one's own ambitions and achieve lasting contentment.

Thanks for spending some time with me.

To Be Or Not, No Longer A Question

"To be or not to be" might be the most famous philosophical pondering in English literature. It illustrates humans' eternal struggle with free will, but Shakespeare demonstrated how Hamlet really had no choice, that Hamlet's existence determined the shape of his destiny. He had to avenge his father's death to move forward. Some scholars have suggested that Hamlet contemplates suicide in his soliloquy from Act III, Scene i, but that seems unlikely. Hamlet was not antisocial, craven, or immoral. At no time, does Hamlet ever become a square peg trying to force himself through a round hole; he only ever considers delaying his path, never escaping it.

Actually, his ethical fortitude is what gives Hamlet pause; he knows he should not murder his uncle the king (regardless of its debatable justification), but he also knows he cannot disobey his father's wishes. What Hamlet is considering is whether being a murderer is better than being insane; Hamlet's madness only increases as long as he denies or resists his path created by his existence. Hamlet's only crime (apart from his misogyny and the murders) is perhaps his indulgence of the melodramatic, but no one is perfect.

Admittedly, Hamlet is a work of fiction, but applied to the real world, we can use Hamlet to illustrate determinism. My wife recently studied determinism in a business ethics class on leadership. The professor posed the following question from their textbook, Taking Sides: Clashing Views in Business Ethics and Society: "Can individual virtue survive corporate pressure?' At the heart of the class discussion was whether free will exists. Most people assume that free will exists; we have the ability to make conscious choices, right?

But… we don't make any decisions independently of any external factors. None of us live in vacuums, so the very suggestion that can make decisions purely of our own free will is somewhat ridiculous. I know that it can be a troubling concept to grasp at first, because we've told our entire lives that we have free will—but ignorance is the consequence of generations of folk psychology and religious dogma. Don't worry, eventually you'll get it, or your grand kids will… or theirs. Cultural evolution doesn't happen overnight.

Relax. Lacking free does not make us robots or zombies. Frankly, I feel vindicated knowing that I share both my triumphs and defeats with a seemingly endless network of causes and effects, in which each of us equal individual nodes of incalculable significance.

Feel free to share thoughts and feelings on the subject, and thanks for your time.

Update, September 2011

True to my Inattentive/ADD nature, I fell off the blogging wagon again, but here am I back with updates.

Where to begin…

I took some refresher classes at College of DuPage, on video editing, 2D & effects animation, video production, and other aspects of the media arts.

Several months ago, I took on my first professional video editing project, a brief stump speech-type YouTube video for Jason Ervin in his bid for alderman of the 28th Ward. The videographer had shot the piece against an ugly greenish background and wanted me to blanch the background color, which I did. (Click here to view the product of my efforts.)

Currently, I am working on a hilarious new web-series, with Matt Hendricks and Brian Kash. More soon!

Fast Dinner

Quick meal preparation seems to be a frequent topic among ADHDers. Whenever I attend a support group meeting, someone always wanders in late or with fast food in hand – or both.

Fast food is notoriously unhealthy, yet is quickly and cheaply prepared. A quandary takes shape.

In the past, I have sought to resolve last-minute meal preparation with prête-à-manger and processed foods – the former is too expensive and the latter is too high in sodium (which works evil against my tendency toward high blood pressure).

I ask for advice, as often as I give. What to do? What to do?

The Inattentive Method of Tree Decorating

"Let chaos reign, then rein in chaos."  – Andrew S. Grove

When a tree is put together with too much care and planning, it looks phony. Just put the ornaments on the tree. The chaotic approach adds a greater sense of creative expression to any artform. Why should tree decorating be any different?

"Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown."

Conventional wisdom (the convenient wisdom garnered from widely held opinion) promises that one bests accomplishes any given task only through the methodical application of an intricately detailed plan, yet free market economists and group dynamic mediators would beg to differ. A rigid plan is often incongruous with healthy development of an organism or group: does conscious planning occur anywhere in nature? Yes and no. Biology conforms to coded blueprints (DNA); migratory birds follow memorized maps of landmarks and pressure changes; and different generations of ants will instinctively build similar colony nests, but none of the previously mentioned examples qualify as plans: lacking the instincts necessary for higher levels of functionality, humans developed culture to exchange thoughts and ideas between generations, so we (humans) habitually conform to plans because that is what our culture prods us to do – even though planning is against our nature.

Year after year, Southwest remains one of the most heavily traveled domestic airlines, which is particularly remarkable because it also consistently earns the highest safety and costumer satisfaction ratings. Borrowing a page from ants, fliers board planes via the swarm method. Some traffic studies in Europe have also shown that traffic could flow more quickly and safely if intersections used a chaotic swarm method, instead of traffic lights.

I also recommend a swarm method when decorating the tree. It is foolish to argue with results: it took me less time and the tree looks good, but it is a little small.

Season's Greetings

Christmas and I have a love/hate relationship. Every year of my preadolescence, my sister and I went to my grandparents house to trim their Xmas tree. It was a tradition that I enjoyed for many years, but along life's journey, family traditions became less important to me. As I developed my own sense of independence, I no longer felt the need to repeat any particular activity simply because that is what was always done.

As I distanced myself from the celebrations, I began to see the crass commercialism wrapped up in the holiday. Giving/receiving gifts no longer gave me any pleasure, because I realized that as a mindless consumer, I was contributing anything of value to society, yet the flashing lights and other distractions appeal to my Inattentive nature. Giving just to give, taking just to take – a hollow and selfish cycle. My family started bequeathing annual charitable donations among ourselves, (instead of wrapped material goods), and that makes much more sense to me – yet the spirit of the holiday season has still been absent from my heart.

Guaranteed: none of my fellow ADHDers conform easily. We do not march to the same rhythm as the does the rest of society – perhaps, meander is a better word – we meander to individuated, syncopated selection of backbeats and rhythms. Maybe some of the ADD crowd jives on Christmas carols and putting ornaments on the tree, but I am not among their number. The only way I can enjoy any activity is when I can take personal ownership in it.

My wife, on the other hand, loves Christmas. She loves the happiness and the joy (artificial, though it may be), and she loves the carols and the decorations. For her, Christmas is the only good aspect of winter, an otherwise dreary season. Because I love my wife more than my own breath, I took it upon myself to "get over it" and enjoy the holiday. And guess what… I have.

Conforming to our society's spiritual materialism, I bought decorations for a plastic tree my grandparents bought for us a few years ago. My wife even let me decorate our tree, and I enjoyed it.

Happily Married, Day 726

My wife and I probably have the happiest marriage of all of our friends and family. We've only been married for two years, so perhaps I should not be patting myself on the back too grandly – nor will I soon be volunteering our services as marital mentors. We have a lot to learn, and both of us know it. Give us 20 years, maybe then.

Still, I must reiterate that I enjoy a spectacularly healthy and joyful wedded life, and this is no small feat on our part. It takes much work, because my pathological Inattentiveness inhibits the multitasking of our shared frugal domesticity (as I've noted previously). The main secret to our success, so far, is our mutual willingness to communicate with each other openly and honestly. When we do have complaints with each other, we always try to achieve a resolution without compromising either of our principle desires. Someday, my spouse will make a fine Senator.

I never want this honeymoon to end.

Of course, many hundreds of elements, mechanisms, and sub-routines constitute all the parts of a well-run engine, such as our marriage. We regularly apply dozens of other heuristics to keep each other satisfied with our life. For instance, I told my wife very early in our relationship that I did not ever want her or myself to go to bed angry, and that if we were angry with each other, we would stay up and talk it through until neither of us were angry anymore. (I got this idea from a Season 1 episode of "The Bob Newhart Show," called "Don't Go to Bed Mad.")

It worked out pretty well at first: 1) I am a tenacious logician, usually quickly recognizing whether my position is sound enough to argue for any length of time; 2) at my bachelor party, my best friend from my old school days told me that "No matter what, she will always be right," and that it was not even worth trying to argue. For the first year, I sublimated and let her have her way in almost all disagreements, (and again, this is no small feat on my part: ADHD makes me more single-minded than a pit bull on PCP.) One night, however, we had a fight too huge to ignore or dismiss, and we argued for hours until we were too tired to argue anymore, so… we went to sleep angry with each other. And we woke up still angry, which was such a huge waste of time. We were both tired and miserable all of that day, and we got over it (because nothing was worth staying angry with one another.)

That argument was important to our relationship though; it allowed us to grow in that I realized that I could not allow myself to be a doormat and a non-participant in the decision-making process, my wife realized that she could not sacrifice her sleep like that anymore, and we both realized that we preferred each other's company when we were not upset with one another. After that, we started working much harder to come to quick and satisfying resolutions to our disagreements, so that neither of us resented each other and so that we could remain contented as partners.

Now when we argue or become upset with each other (and it almost always seems to happen in the evening when we are both tired and cranky, though it only seems to happen once a month or so), my wife and I take a few minutes to collect ourselves. We internally sift through our experiences and try to see the situation from each other's perspectives, so that we can quickly-but-sincerely apologize and get on with the making up. Let's face it: making up is fun, but sleep is important. Perhaps, that is the best-kept secret to a long and happy marriage: a good night's sleep. I'll tell you what I've found out in 20 years.